@RealPrincessKim: You know that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem disses himself so the other guy has nothing to rap about? That's basically my only plan in life.
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@juliussharpe: Facebook's "People you may know" should be called, "People you definitely know and have been avoiding".
@Mobute: A gritty reboot of basketball where we find out all the players' moms were murdered by circles and that's why they throw rocks at one.
@MableGertrude: Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks.