@RealPrincessKim: You know that scene in 8 Mile where Eminem disses himself so the other guy has nothing to rap about? That's basically my only plan in life.
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@audipenny: I like how your profile picture is you at your wedding, so are you like a professional bride
@weinerdog4life: I carry a bar of soap in my pocket so when someone tries to talk to me I can pull it out and say someone is paging me and leave.
@LivibelsDada: Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two mars bars fall out of a vending machine at once.