@TheUnseenMe: You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux.
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@elle91: [Interview] Boss: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm a risk taker B: Can you give an example? M: *Passionately kisses boss* B: omg
@Storminika: I saw a lady at the gym on the exercise bike, wearing a helmet. So I put on a life jacket and got on the treadmill next to her.
@karlainvt: Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.