@SaveItForFest: You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
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@dumbbeezie: Goodnight everyone except the guy who invented that thing that shows that you are typing something
@dreamthievin: Greeting card [cover] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's [inside] Sorry to hear about your Alzheimer's
@sofarrsogud: CONCERT AC/DC: Who's ready to be Thunderstruck? CROWD: *screams ME: [from front row] IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE STRUCK BY THUNDER!
@Ghetto_Trophy: I will punch you in the face. OK not really - but I will roll my eyes at you, hard.