@llvvzz: You know what's better than being married? Everything.
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@tigdonovan: Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit
@Sassafrantz: *rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems...
@ImJESSPlayin: Maybe, "only if you're taking me to dinner" wasn't the best response to, "is this going down?" to the guy on the elevator. Flirting is hard
@timdonakowski: Don't eat yellow snow. Red snow, on the other hand, is debatable. Could be horrible, could be cherry.