@llvvzz: You know what's better than being married? Everything.
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@sozjalltheway: Just spent a nice relaxing hour on facebook, writing "you Two look fantastic!!" on all weekend selfies with three girls or more in it.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: News: Hillary won the debate! My friends: Bernie won the debate! Trump: I won the debate! Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!
@uncle_fescue: I just saw my ex get hit by a snow plow but in all fairness I have never driven one of these before.
@meganamram: Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Also, no outside food, they are so strict about that.