@Ivsy01: You know when motorcyclists give a little wave to each other, I do that when I see someone else eating in their car.
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@ShesARealGenius: On your first day in prison, make sure you go up to the warden and compliment the décor.
@UncleDuke1969: Jim: You have a Fantasy Football team? Me: Guys aren’t my thing. But, Tom Brady’s kinda cute. Jim: No, I- Me: Ooh! Cam Newton’s dreamy, too!
@Lisa_Laughs_: They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever.