@InnocentMarina6: You know why most americans love minions so much? Because they resemble Twinkies..
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Imnotsurehow: A sure fire way to lose a afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
@vineyille: "First off I want to wish my opponent the best of luck and oh god. OH GOD NO" - presidential candidate accidentally using their 3rd wish
@jergarl: I finally saved up enough money to listen to my heart but it turns out that's just a metaphor. Anyway, I have stethoscope for sale.
@painted_eel: *whispers to old lady at Starbucks* one time they ran out of coffee here and we ate a baby