@InnocentMarina6: You know why most americans love minions so much? Because they resemble Twinkies..
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@BakedBrotatoes: Girls are just like pasta. Throw her against the wall, if she sticks, she's ready.
@DamienFahey: Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. They found out today 7 minutes of his life wasn't photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook.
@RawspberryJamb: "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it's yours" - Inventors of boomerangs
@Dorkstress: Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!