@MissBee73: You know why some people wear socks with sandals?Cos they've never been punched in the head for it.If you see an offender,do the right thing
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@squirrel74wkgn: *knocks on bathroom stall wall* Forgive me father, for I have sinned. "Huh? What?" It's been 3 days since my last- [sound of diarrhea]
@DanMentos: [first date that up until now is going extremely well] date: it’s nice to finally meet a normal guy me: my dog’s name is jeff
@Manali_Shetye5: Me: I have to lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise everyday. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet, eat healthy and hit the gym. Me: Is that cake?
@TheRealNickKay: *LIGHTHOUSE* BATMAN - You call? L/HOUSE KEEPER - Shit, not again man. I am so sorry. BATMAN - Dead seagull on the light? LK -*Nods*