@MissBee73: You know why some people wear socks with sandals?Cos they've never been punched in the head for it.If you see an offender,do the right thing
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@jus4golf: Attractive women post selfies and refer to themselves as ugly. As a group, if we begin agreeing with them we could stop that shit quick.
@TheToddWilliams: [blind date] HER: I just wish women were treated equal...You know what I mean? ME: Absolu- WAITER: I hate to interrupt but can I take your drink order? HER: Yes, I'll have a Manhattan ME: Make mine a *turns to non-existent camera*...Womanhattan
@EmergencyQB: How much do you want to bet that the inventor of the Lazy Susan has an ex-wife named Susan?
@daemonic3: WIFE: He's too literal and unromantic THERAPIST: Tell her something that comes straight from the heart ME: [whispers in her ear] Arteries