@iVanillaGorilla: You know you where drunk last night when you realise you cooked your pizza for 200 minutes at 18 degrees
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@Doh573: Cartoons lied to me as a child. I was lead to believe quicksand was going to be a much larger problem in life.
@darkmatter_wimp: I'm on a new diet where all I eat is soup on weekdays. It's called: Miso Hungry.
@sixfootcandy: (Breaks car window to save a dog) Guy: I'm in the car! Me: Yeah but it's hot Him: The AC is on! Me: Can I get in? It's really hot out here.