@NYC_Blonde: "You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you're at the gym when really you're out shopping" is the title of my autobiography.
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@Breadery: I've spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she's a woodpecker.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: [taking communion at church] I'm a recovering alcoholic do you have any actual blood?
@secondofhername: OMG THIS IS SUCH A SURPRISE THE THOUGHT OF WINNING AFTER A NOMINATION IS A PHENOMENA THAT BLOWS MY MIND HOW DID IT HAPPEN - All Emmy winners