@NYC_Blonde: "You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you're at the gym when really you're out shopping" is the title of my autobiography.
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@highwaytohelv: why yes i studied sports medicine at the university of phoenix. *puts stethoscope on basketball, nods*
@GrantTanaka: Jesus: I HAVE RETURNED [wife & I arguing about who used the last paper towel or some other shit] Jesus: OK I'MMA COME BACK LATER
@ShoutingGoddess: If I yawn, and the person talking says, 'Sorry for boring you', I graciously accept their apology. Because, manners.
@max_read: i wonder what it's like to be the pizzagate gun guy and discover that your former comrades now believe that you're a crisis actor