@TheCatWhisprer: You know you're getting fat when you make a comment about needing to lose weight and the other person doesn't say anything back.
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@MoneypennyNaked: Sex with me is like going to the movies. It's dark & very loud. Bring candy. You can never predict the ending. Some people leave early.
@SoVeryBritish: Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says "I'm going to have to cancel tonight"
@AimeeHelene1: They should make fortune cookies with more obtainable fortunes: You will vacuum the living room. You will run into the coffee table.