@SamuelHLowe: You know you're old when you watch a horror movie where annoying, partying college kids get murdered and you identify with the killer.
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@celebrityhottub: I'm on a plane with the dad from Home Alone and it's taking all my strength to not scream "WE FORGOT KEVIN!"
@leechee420: How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?
@TheMichaelRock: I forgot my work ethic at home today, but I did remember to bring my shenanigans and debauchery.