@SamuelHLowe: You know you're old when you watch a horror movie where annoying, partying college kids get murdered and you identify with the killer.
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@fro_vo: "Hey Cyclops are you still dating Jean?" "No Storm, we broke up. You could say she's my..." *lowers sunglasses* *eye beams obliterate Storm*
@BlindChow: "Daddy, there's a mime under the bed!" That's ridiculous, why would you think that? "Listen!" *complete silence* OH DEAR GOD RUN
@iamburtjarvis: her: what r u doing? me: taking a photo of a glass of tap water on snapchat & see if they have- her: oh god me:-a water filter.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excited for the dance? 13yo: No, because you and mom will be there. Me: But I've been workin on my twerkin! 13yo: I need new parents.