@_Awwsomeness_: You know you're single when the only calls you get at night are Nature's.
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@krissywillbretz: [ER] Me: I CANT FEEL MY LEGS AM I DYING DOC? Dr: *loosens my belt*unbuttons my pants* Me: is this appropriate? *blood returns to legs* oh.
@Robert_Beau: I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea.
@PhuckedCody: me: she had wide eyes and red hair, police sketch artist: *drawing* me: like elmo artist: *stops drawing* me: she had an amazing laugh, and loved to be tickled artist: *drawing* me: like elmo artist: *stops drawing*