@JerseyRambo: You know you're watching Star Wars with Catholics when every time you hear "May the Force be with you," you hear, "And also with you."
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@bkdcasey: I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners.
@JohnLyonTweets: Just watched The Hobbit: The Battle to Stay Awake for What Felt Like Five Hours.
@daniellebyers: My 11 year old dumped his girlfriend because she was too "sassy." So I'm guessing my days are numbered.
@itshotterhere: I was gonna take a selfie, but I just checked the mirror and I still have the same face.