@jake_lach: You know you've seen too many walking dead episodes when your hand gets stung by a bee and you start screaming for everyone to cut it off
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@bourgeoisalien: Just accidentally messaged my husband "love you sexy beats" instead of "sexy beast" and now he thinks he’s some sort of DJ.
@Cpt_Burnout: Guy: "Do you have a lighter?" Me: "Yep" Guy: "You smoke?" Me: "No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."