@thebeckyard: You laugh at the burrito in my purse, until you get hungry.
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@aka_fatman: Me: Hi, officer. I saw you coming up the driveway. Cop: (sadly) Your son has been in an accident. Me: I FLUSHED ALL MY DRUGS FOR THAT?!
@laughandrun: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you is all I need. Don't concern yourself with how I got in your house.
@Jandalize: Imagine a giraffe. Now imagine the giraffe trying to get on a pool float. Now put my face on the giraffe. That's about right.