@FloodyHippie: You look like the type of person who would try to write a check for a drug deal.
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@badbanana: I relate to #PizzaRat because if I found a slice of pizza as big as a car you can bet I'd try my best to take that thing home.
@LoriLuvsShoes: My husband says I talk in my sleep but I don't believe him because nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
@mrtruthandsoul: I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
@murrman5: "so, have you ever done a job interview over the phone before?" [over vigorous peeing] no, this will be a first