@ibid78: You, me, a bottle of wine, soft music, a picnic basket, a strange growl, a bear, a tree, coyotes, a rescue chopper, a hospital, dessert.
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@TrolleyCat: I'm not helping to save the environment until bears let me ride them around like cars. It's a group effort, bears.
@Crunk_Jews: [first date] Her: I like a guy who gets a little nasty Me: [puts hand sanitizer away] I used a gas station bathroom once
@KyleMcDowell86: ME: I need to return this blender WALMART EMPLOYEE: Why? ME:(thinking about how i broke it trying to blend rocks to make sand) "Its haunted"
@lasergirl70: My cat that died 3 years ago got a letter saying she needs to register if she wants to vote, showing how well Florida handles elections.