@marknorm: You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
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@FilthyRichmond: My kids are mad at me because I never unwrap the cheese slices in their sandwiches
@nealbrennan: Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.
@TySmithdrums: Me: "I can't find your phone." Her: "Call it." Me: "Here, phone!" Her: "I hate you."