@marknorm: You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
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@OtherDanOBrien: ME: I hate him with 1/16th of the fibers of my being GUY: Not every fiber? ME: I hate alot of people. I'm not wasting all my fibers on 1 guy
@MrFornicator: When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting.
@Cpt_Burnout: Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home.
@XplodingUnicorn: Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity.