@FeelingMervis: "You never told me you were vegan!" - no one ever
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Book_Krazy: [quietly] "Always a bridesmaid never the bride" BRIDE: Hey, you're not one of my bridesmaids! "Shhh...this day is about you, not me."
@tylerschmall: Great, iTunes terms and conditions has changed and my attorney is on vacation. Just perfect.
@iAmDelFreaky: Doc: Let's check your reflexes. Me: I have the reflexes of a cat. Doc: *hits my knee with a hammer* Me: MEOW! *scratches Doc's eyes out*