@Jebo_te_patak: You say tomato, I say that's a weird thing to say for no reason. We were just sitting here quietly, and you're all "tomato." You can leave.
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@Cheeseboy22: My wife took me to the most amazing 3D movie I had ever seen last night. Half way through it I realized: we were at a play.
@goldengateblond: I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor.
@TheBigBatman: Do you ever get shampoo in your eyes and wonder what the name of your guide dog will be?
@SocialustGal13: There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people