@weinerdog4life: You scream, I scream, we all scream, then I leave the women's restroom.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Boss: You're late Me: Sorry, my clock was set to Australian time Boss: That would make today Saturday Me: You're right. I'll go home
@semple42: Don't think I won't spin around and French kiss you if you're standing too close to me in line at the liquor store.
@SortaBad: Me, age 18: I'll be a homeowner by the time I'm in my 30s Me, in my 30s: I own a single pair of matching socks