@tastefactory: You should always choose B) on multiple choice tests because it looks like a cool sunglasses face. That guy knows what he's talking about.
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@rob5373: [Bags packed, leaving the ex] Ex:"I hope you have a slow and painful death!" Me:"So now you want me to stay?"
@MableGertrude: If I was a bodybuilder I would slather up with grease and slide to work instead of driving to save money.
@rockymomax: wife: [walks in door] so whats the big news? -the baby walked! wife: OMG where is he? -i sent him to the store for an ice cream cake