@UNTRESOR: You should always read labels. I was about to eat this rat poison but then saw it has gluten in it. I could have died,
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions
@Glittery_Love: I need your fingers, rubbing me hard, circling around my red swollen ...mosquito bite. What did YOU think I'm talking about? Weirdos!!
@Twtercide: 911: What is your emergency? Me: Fire 911: Riley, is that you? Me:.... 911: Listen carefully, that firefighter asked to be transferred.