@UNTRESOR: You should always read labels. I was about to eat this rat poison but then saw it has gluten in it. I could have died,
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@RocketRankoon: Shout out to Pringles for admitting they're addictive, unlike cigarettes and heroin the two biggest liars of the snack industry.
@drxubair: I dream to live in a world where I can politely get out of plans by saying, "I'm so sorry, but I just remembered I don't want to"
@david8hughes: [first day as a negotiator] Me: release one hostage Terrorist: no Me: release half of one hostage