@KimmyMonte: you should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@beefman138: I accidentally hired a wordsmith instead of a locksmith and now my latched threshold has been compromised by a metallic puzzle solver.
@MUMSIEesq: The ugly duckling grew up to be a beautiful swan. A beautiful, self-conscious, mentally unstable, overmedicated, antisocial swan.
@NatePhilbrick: If other jobs got the same response as writing: -You're a fireman? Have you put out any famous fires? -You're a lifeguard? Can I be a victim in your next rescue? -You're a physicist? I have a few universe theories myself! -You're a chef? I'd do food too, but I never have time.
@_iTrevii: You gotta Snapchat, dm, and text your girl all @ the same time. That way if you piss her off in 1 convo, you still have two lives left.