@KimmyMonte: you should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower
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@XplodingUnicorn: [driving] Wife: Horseys! Me: The kids aren't in the car. Wife: I said it for me.
@askceil: How to Talk To A Woman Who Is Hiding Behind That Plant. Now She's In The Alley. Wow, She's A Fast Runner. How To Talk To The Police.
@Lisabug74: Mirror mirror on the wall, please make me look like a mix between emaciated and "I'd hit that."