@trevso_electric: You should be my grillfriend. Not a typo, girl. You're hot enough to cook meat on.
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@lisaxy424: Hot chick without makeup: her beauty is so effortless & carefree Me without makeup: why is that very sick grandma not in a home
@tuckerflodman: [halftime] Coach: Okay men we're literally losing at basketball to a dog... any ideas? -I have one. *pulls out vacuum with a jersey on*
@PaperWash: Read an article that said Google is making us dumber. whatever, I've always used Google and I'm super [googles synonym for smart] able.
@trojansauce: [interview] "what's you're biggest weakness?" *whispers* "sorry i couldn-" I CANT CONTROL MY VOLUME