@MsSugar_Kisses: "You should leave your wife..." The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning...
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@thestlouisan: My 5 year old just ended a phone call with "I gotta jump, Daddy. I'm out." And now everyone in my house is officially cooler than me.
@AndyAsAdjective: [1st date] WAITER: and how would you like your steak, miss? HER: definitely not wooden *winks across table* DRACULA: *just glares at her*