@MsSugar_Kisses: "You should leave your wife..." The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning...
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@215potter: If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.
@NoTheOtherJohn: The name "groundhog" suggests the presence of sea and skyhogs and I am not sure how I feel about that.
@david8hughes: [phone rings] "Is your refrigerator running?" *looks over at fridge holding a lighter up to a spoon* "I don't know what he's doing anymore."
@NowAPisces: Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled "supplies!"