@MsSugar_Kisses: "You should leave your wife..." The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning...
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@eileencurtright: Death hack: bury your loved ones with their fitness trackers for a low-cost early zombie alert system.
@fro_vo: Angel: welcome to heaven Me: holy shit Angel: ooh you swore get out Devil: welcome to hell Me: holy shit Devil: ugh u said holy get out
@Thynebear: I am the all knowing oracle, you may ask me one question "How do you pronounce quinoa?" [it's just covered in sweat] um can u ask me another