@OhNoSheTwitnt: You think if I tell my dad "30 is the new 20" he'll start paying all my bills for me again like he did 10 years ago?
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@blondediva11: My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish.
@kellysdf: It's important to know your neighbors by name. For instance, "Mr. Mean Old Man" and his wife, "Screamy".
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Quit talking down to me like I don't know shit about technology! 12yo: Sorry... Me: That's ok. Now fix the router.
@DanMentos: "I just tried to make reservations at the library" You don't need a res- "Couldn't get one though" Don't do this "They were fully booked"