@PinkCamoTO: You think you have it rough? I'm playing hangman with a 6yo who can't spell.
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@NotthatAdamWest: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger's engagement proves that not only is love blind, it's also deaf.
@brendohare: On your first day of prison, go up to the biggest, scariest guy there, and ask him "Have you heard of updog?"
@joeljeffrey: Me: Siri set an alarm for 6am tomorrow morning. I want to go to the gym before work. Siri: Lol
@julietactually: Saw this lady taking pics of stuff and I was like your camera is facing the wrong way, psycho