@JermHimselfish: You think your day was bad? I just had a 15 minute long argument with a couch cushion.
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@mrtruthandsoul: 5yo: Why is he crying? Me: That's a teardrop tattoo. 5: Oh. Did he shank someone in prison? M: What? 5: Remind him I want extra guacamole.
@TheThomason: Fun way to make someone question everything: comment "you are so brave" on all their selfies.
@le_buns: they probably named the Rocky mountains first and then saw all the other mountains and were like "oh"
@Moochava: Yearly reminder: unless you're over 60, you weren't promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia. Here you go.