@JermHimselfish: You think your day was bad? I just had a 15 minute long argument with a couch cushion.
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@ehdannyboy: People that start a sentence with "Now I'm not trying to be rude" are either about to be rude, or about to sing Ignition by R Kelly.
@ObscureGent: Is it weird to think about naming my next cat Batman during sex? Sir, I just serve coffee here. But no, it's not weird. It's fantastic!
@botandy: 'we love the sea because it's where we come from we fear it because we left so long ago', I say suddenly, startling myself, and the waitress
@dafloydsta: BOSS: We need to look in the mirror and see where we can improve. ME: *to Gary, who I suspect is a vampire* Go ahead, Gary. You first.