@JermHimselfish: You think your day was bad? I just had a 15 minute long argument with a couch cushion.
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@awescar: If you want to hide a gift for your husband, just put it in the pantry with one thing in front of it.
@Vodkantots: People who are genuinely surprised when politicians behave badly should be forced to wear helmets for their own protection.
@Elizasoul80: Some dude just called me an idiot for not agreeing with him. What he doesn't know is I've been calling myself that since we started talking.
@Los01001111: My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.