@Urfavgoodboy: You wanna take this outside bro? You sure bro? It's awfully chilly bro. Hold on bro, let me grab my scarf.
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@TattedChanel: So Brad Pitt is being investigated for child abuse after yelling at his kids on a flight. Better send my mum to the electric chair then.
@MUMSIEesq: 3YO: Why do I have to share a room with my twin sister? ME: Because we only anticipated having one of you.
@RexHuppke: BREAKING: North Dakota lawmakers decide life begins at conception, and then begins again the moment you're old enough to leave North Dakota