@Death_Buddy: You want just one cow for those magic beans? Idk, I'm suspicious, magic beans sounds like the sort of thing that would cost 2 cows.
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@nickmullen: I'm not religious but I'm spiritual, which means I think the mothman prophecy is real and I don't feel bad about shoplifting
@joejwest: [on Mars] ASTRONAUT: An alien! MISSION CONTROL: Ok, so A: I choke slammed it MC: What? A: Another one! MC: DO NOT CH A: [choke slam noises]
@DirtMcTurd: Just reported a car as being stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the rear window are white.