@1followernodad: You were the hot single in your area the whole time.
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@TheAlexNevil: Survival Tip: if a bear comes at you, do not try to "sweep the leg". They've all seen The Karate Kid and learned how to defend against it.
@LABeachmom: The whole "limiting myself to one glass of wine a day" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule.
@Chumpstring: [robber pulls gun] ME: take my money but please don't hurt me i'm an only child MY DAD: [yelling from the car] he's lying he has a brother