@SergioValenCo: ''You will die alone.'' I hate fortune cookies. Wait! This is a note from my mom!
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@Kendragarden: My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?
@TheMongoose69: When I push a door that clearly says pull, it serves as a harsh reminder that I'd make a terrible midwife.
@fatguythe: Hid my daughters ipod in my other daughters room cause they've been getting along lately and there's nothing on tv tonight.
@slennonhugs: I'm a simple man *bites a pinecone* I enjoy simple things *tosses a gun into a lake* that's why I decided to let these bees live in my skull