@Beatonm5: "..,you will die in seven days"
*creepy voice on the phone*
Me; "new phone, who dis?"
@krustythe_klown: A bum gets on a bus and walks past a nun. The nun says "youre going to hell". The bum yells "Damn, Im on the wrong bus" ! :D
@RobDenBleyker: Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does the same movies over again.
Who'll he fight? The same bad guys! Billion dollar film franchise.
@BruceForce: *spreads rose petals on the bed*
[Death metal voice] "INTERCOURSE!"
@theshamingofjay: No thanks resolutions, if I wanted to be reminded of everything I didn't follow through on at the end of the year, I'd get married again.
@MadlyAmanda: Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.