@Beatonm5: "..,you will die in seven days"
*creepy voice on the phone*
Me; "new phone, who dis?"
@Kyle_Lippert: MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism.
@shot_of_cabo: Make it a Great Friday by not getting nailed to a cross.
@awesomeseank: Anyone who shows up late to work, wearing shades and clutching a Gatorade is about to tell a lie.
@Poutymcgee: Doe. A deer. A female deer.
Ray. My creepy Uncle's naaaame.
@briancthayer: *gazing at the ocean*
God: I told you NOT to leave the water on while we were on vacation.
Angel: I'm sorr-
God: SORRY DOESN'T FIX THIS MESS