@simoncholland: You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this pre-school.
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@danjan13: Not a single one of my girlfriends has stuck around to see how many old school WWF finishing moves I know.
@MrEmilyHeller: Why does Minnie Mouse wear heels? She is the only female mouse Mickey knows. Pressure's off, girl. Your boyfriend doesn't even have a shirt.
@LaceyNycole: *brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut.
@EndhooS: Come on guys, lemme back in the gang! I'm real good at crimes! "No" Why? "YOU GOT ARRESTED BY A POLICE HORSE CARL HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE"