@simoncholland: You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this pre-school.
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@LuvPug: If Zombies ever switch to eating souls, I'll have the last laugh on everyone whoever made fun of me for being a Ginger
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Now what's the rule, son? 11yo: *sighs* If his first album came out after 2000, I can't call him a rapper. Me: You're learning...
@ewfeez: [Kool-Aid Man breaks thru wall] Oh ya! [breaks 2nd wall] Oh ya! [3rd wall] OHHH YEAAHH! [breaks 4th wall] I've had many, many concussions
@mejustbeth: It seems like I only lose weight when I don't buy ice cream. Can someone else start buying my ice cream for me please?