@simoncholland: You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this preschool.
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@dshack8: Usain Bolt doesn't know shit bout speed compared to a parent putting their hand over their kids mouth when they see someone w/ an eye patch.
@Marlebean: I'm "don't flash your headlights at someone who doesn't have theirs on bc they will come and kill you" years old.
@ambermruffin: Now that the Statue of Liberty is dark, there's no way they're letting her into the U.S.