@alive_and_dying: You wouldn't hate anything about yourself if the world hadn't taught you how.
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@JohnHilsen: Mankind has made a lot of mistakes, some of them truly monstrous. The Holocaust. Slavery. Calling it a "corn maze" and not a "maize maze."
@HonestToddler: Tonight's bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeat home invasions. Thanks for the new fear.
@TheBoydP: "If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun" ~My son apparently
@yonewt: Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie