@ventivodkacran: You'd think these people on Grey's Anatomy would've already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May.
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@AlexReekie: There’s plenty more fish in the sea “Actually we’ve 5% the tuna we once had. 10% of sharks. 5% of cod” I’m bad at consoling dumped friends
@Halbeerz: So Nickelback is playing a flood relief concert for Alberta. Like those folks haven't suffered enough.
@bea_ker: Just went for a piss while still wearing my microphone and the whole conference heard me call the urinal a "thirsty boy"