@ventivodkacran: You'd think these people on Grey's Anatomy would've already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May.
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@ddsmidt: If you love someone, tell them. If they make a throat slash motion when they see you coming, it's probably not reciprocated.
@Schindizzle: My prompt email replies are 10% due to me being a diligent employee, and 90% due to the crippling OCD that compels me to clear my inbox.
@UncleDuke1969: "Wow, it's pouring out there." "Just let a smile be your umbrella!" "That's not how rain works, Karen."
@behindyourback: Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.