@ChaseMit: You'll get this gun when you pry it out of my cold dead ow hey give that back
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@CerebralWreck: Titanic is my favorite movie about how to get rid of your boyfriend and make it look like an accident.
@Spaziotwat: Man: Who are you? God: Your god. Man: What's your name? God: I can't tell you. Man: No way! God: Jahweh! Man: God: Doh!
@CauseWereDads: "Dad, lil bro pooped on the floor!"nMe: Ok, just like we practiced. I'll hide in garage, you go tell Mommy. This convo never happened! GO!