@ChaseMit: You'll get this gun when you pry it out of my cold dead ow hey give that back
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@euanDroberts: And the Lord said to Peter "come forth and you will receive eternal life". But Peter came fifth and won a toaster.
@Black__Elvis: My gf said all I do is sit on the couch in my underwear all day but that's bullshit, I've never been able to fit my underwear onto my couch.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Most women love it when you play with their hair in public Their husbands not so much