@DoritosOverHoes: "YOUR 15" is trending worldwide instead of "YOU'RE 15" and that's why we haven't found a cure for cancer yet.
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@smilely_gal: With my pasty white skin, ample curves, & hatred of manual labor, I would have dominated the 16th century.
@matt_simpson84: My wife and I have an ongoing game called "Wipe Boogers on Stuff in the House" that she doesn't know we are playing
@causticbob: Following the leaking of nude photo's of Kim Kardashian, her personal assistant has been sacked for the delay.