@SethMacFarlane: Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
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@useful_wagon: Of course I swallow it's a basic function of eating. What kind of job interview is this anyway and why are there multiple cameras
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Commercials for prescription drugs would be better if the actors had to act out the side effects too.
@DaddyJew: *slowly raises hand 20 minutes into an important office meeting* so there are no donuts?
@Pirate_nurse: In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn't understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym