@SethMacFarlane: Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fro_vo: "hey what's that sqiggly thing on the ground?" "i don't know, it looks kinda like a w or m" -- how the worm got its name
@FilthyRichmond: If you're not supposed to abuse cough syrup then why does it come with a little plastic shot glass?
@EliBraden: 71-yr-old Jimmy Page is dating a 25-yr-old. The age difference may seem huge now, but it won't be as big a deal when she's 28 and he's dead.
@LetMeStart: My kids are yelling so incoherently at one another it sounds like they're naming IKEA furniture.