@dhumann: Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold until your battery is dead.
@filthyson: How to make-out -
1. Hold her close
2. Kiss passionately
3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father
@kumailn: And on the 8th day, He said "Oh I'll make carbs delicious AND fattening LOL!"
@hipstermermaid: "My desires are... unconventional."
*opens door to a room full of memes*
@jwoodham: When in doubt, ask yourself WWBD: What Would Beyoncé Do? Would she apply for a job? Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."