@dhumann: Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold until your battery is dead.
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@MoneypennyNaked: *deletes your contact information* Siri: Are you sure you really want to do that? You've already deleted and re-added this guy 17 times.
@bfrosty04: I just got smiled at by a lovely cashier who has plenty of teeth, but clearly only brushes her favorites.
@MableGertrude: Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks.