@CornOnTheGoblin: Your dating profile said you were a night owl.....eat this mouse.
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@Adar79Angie: You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance.
@shutupmikeginn: As a child, 'The Jetsons' gave me unrealistic expectations for the future: like having a wife who loves me & owning a dog.
@ThaJawn: Me: Hey, I'm here for the playdate. Her: Where's your son? Me: Oh he didn't want to come, but you said Billy had Star Wars Legos so..
@OneFunnyMummy: The longer you're a parent the harder it is to act excited when people tell you they're pregnant.