@AlanFelyk: Your daughter seems to have nice boyfriends. They all seem to be involved in community service.
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@wendyraepearce: If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism.
@pstamato: "What if something fell off your glass every time you picked it up? That'd be great." - The inventor of coasters
@KevinFarzad: When walking behind someone at night, let them know you're not dangerous by yelling "DO NOT FEAR ME" very loudly