@aneesa_p: Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
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@LibelousLurker: My kids can't play at your house because they might begin to think laundry doesn't live on the couch.
@Matt_The_1st: Can I take your order? Yeah, lemme get a McRib and a large Coke. Sir, this is Wallgreens OK, make it a bottle of Xanax, and some Pringles
@juanadog: 911: 911, What's your emergency? Me: It's John again. 911: John, seriously!!! Me: I know. I know. Just an ambulance if possible. No cops.