@aneesa_p: Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
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@TheAlexNevil: Fortune Cookie: You will go on a date with a beautiful woman. She could do so much better.
@briancthayer: Be specific when saying "BYOB": [bursts into house] Hey, I brought beers! *7 pastors wives shut their Bibles disapprovingly*
@SteveDutzy: Give a man a fish and he'll go to McDonald's instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald's