@NicestHippo: Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you're a wizard
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@BigRadMachine: Me: *disappears for a few weeks* Friends: *No concern* Me: *Posts inspirational quote on FB* Friends: Dude, you okay? You need to talk?
@Boleyngirly: I don't know why this driver threw his hands up and asked what I was doing. I thought it was pretty clear I was cutting him off.
@TitansHomer: Boss: John, tell me your greatest weakness Me: Honesty B: I don't think that's a weakness M: I don't give a shit what you think.
@INDlAN_: [2:30AM] *it’s quite late now. Let’s make a call* *Hey Boss, are you sleepin?* [Yes you nerd, why?] *cause I’m still doing your stupid work*