@whosnutstoo: Your heart beats faster, your knees go weak, you start to sweat. Is this love? No you're probably hypoglycemic
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@Eightinchgoat: The next person to tell me I should quit smoking for New Years is gonna be responsible for me breaking this year's "no murder" resolution.
@sixthformpoet: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. There's nothing more endearing than happy people applauding themselves.
@HALFniteStand: When a girl comes over for a date, I make sure I leave a hammer and measuring tape on the counter so she doesn't suspect that I watch Glee
@Sean_Burgundy_: I don't get why some girls don't make airplane noises before putting their tampons in