@darinlovesbacon: Your honor I object! That other lawyer is saying stuff that makes my client look guilty
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@kellysdf: Life was dangerous when I was young. We answered the phone never knowing who was on the other end.
@existentialcoms: What I like about humanity is that certain mustaches are more evil than others, and everyone basically agrees on which ones are which.
@Violent2Dope304: Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
@robfee: The best thing to do on New Years Eve is set the microwave timer with the countdown so the first thing that happens that year is Pizza Rolls