@KimmyMonte: Your Honor the defense rests. They are so tired. Aww they look like angels when they sleep. Kinda makes u forget about the double homicide
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@3sunzzz: Tip from my mom: Always wear your bathrobe when at home. Then if somebody stops by unexpectedly you're "just about to hop in the shower".
@SteussieErica: FACT: Had kids for one reason; to send them to the basement for paper towels when I run out of them in the kitchen. It's scary down there.
@MikeMcNeil_: wife: "HOW ARE WE OUT OF ICE AGAIN?" me: "DUNNO," I yell from the bathroom; the penguin and I can barely contain our laughter.
@Death_Buddy: *gets down to snails level* IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THEN I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE FASTER.