@somecleverthing: Your Joke Is Factually Incorrect - A Guide to Dying Alone.
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@sixthformpoet: If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never ageing is wearing the same clothes every day.
@beeple: so proud of america. only 8 years after electing first black pres, we're considering electing our first orange one
@Muaythaigirlie: Had a date planned for tonight but he got electrocuted at work. I'm serious The things men do to avoid hanging out with me is amazing.
@walks_on_legs: Hm, want to use firecrackers but not wake the neighbors. I know, I'll light the firecrackers inside a container! Like this megaphone here!